Slayers Outrageous: The NonSpoiler Title!
by Tsumira
Summary: An ordinary breakfast turns into disaster when Lina receives a letter from her sister! Chaos and angst ensue for Lina as she has three days to complete her older sister's request or else!
1. Default Chapter

Slayers Outrageous  
  
Chapter One.  
  
Who to Choose? Gourry or Zelgadis?!  
  
Trouble never seems to take a vacation long enough for Lina Inverse to take a break herself. She and Gourry recently hooked up with Amelia and Zelgadis on an endeavor to find a cure that ended poorly. Of course, Lina has her suspicions as to why Amelia is following Zel around, but wasn't in the mood to say anything. Perhaps she could finally relax.  
  
"Letter for Miss Lina Inverse!", a messenger exclaims. "Wight mere!", Lina replies, mouth full of food. The messenger hands her a sealed letter and takes his leave. Lina sets the letter aside on the table and continues scarfing down food as usual with the occasional fighting and defending against Gourry. "Aren't you going to open your letter, Lina?", Zelgadis inquires. "I bill! Mime meating!" /Well THAT was a stupid question, Zelgadis,/ Zel reflects.  
  
"I wonder if its a letter from someone who needs help, Miss Lina.", Amelia comments finishing her breakfast. /That's Ameila for you...always thinking on the side of justice. Although I really have to wonder why a Seiryuunian Princess has been following me around this time. Does she really just want to help me find a cure? Or could it be that she...? No, of course not Zelgadis. Who'd be attracted to this body? Sides, she's still a little kid you pedofile./ "Don't you think that's none of out business, Amelia. Its Lina's letter, so whatever's written inside concerns her, not us.", Zelgadis comments coldly.  
  
"Well...yah, but we're friends and friends help each other out! Sailor Moon says, 'Never turn your back on a friend!' I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seiryuun, will never turn my back on a friend.", Amelia proclaims with love and justice. /Oh no! I think I'm going to be sick...I just know Amelia's going to get up on the table and sing the Engrish Sailor Moon theme./ Lina reflects. Before Amelia is able to climb atop the table, Gourry and Lina swiftly grab several armloads of food out of the way.  
  
"Fighting ebil by moonright! Whinning rabu by dayright! Neba running frum a will fight...she is da won named Seira Muun! She will never turn her back on a friend! She is alway deer two defend. She is da won whom wi can depend, she is the won named Seira......Seira Benus!", Amelia sings on the table. /Oh dear lord, that didn't sound right!/, Zel thinks. "Seira Merukuri! Seira Maasu! Seira Juptaa! Sacred powaas run into haa...she is da won named Seira Muun!", Amelia continues. "Uh, Amelia, I think you're scaring the customers.", Gourry comments finally finishing with his food. "What makes you think that?", Amelia asks innocently, still standing atop the table. "It must be pretty obvious, Amelia, especially if Gourry noticed.", Zel informs.  
  
"Only villians are afraid of Seira Muun!", Amelia announces returning to her seat. "Well maybe they prefer the original Japanese version." "Ah...I'm full. Original Japanese version, eh? That I can do!", Lina informs. "Oh God....", Zel mutters. "Tsumira, you're not really going to have Lina break out into song, are you?", Gourry inquires of the writer.  
  
In a blink of an eye, Gourry finds himself in a skimpy sailor fuku and his hair put up into two buns. "Sing it Lina!", Amelia and Tsumira exclaim in unison. "Gomen ne sunao ja nakute. Yume no naka nara ieru. Shikou kairo wa shotto sunzen. Ima sugu aitai you! Nakitaku naru you na Moonlight. Denwa modekinai Midnight. Datte junjou dou shiyou, haato wa mangekyou. Tsuki no hikari ni michibikare, nandomo megui au. Seiza no matataki kazoe uranau koi no yukue. Onaji kuni ni umareta no...Mirakaru Romansu. Shinjite iruno. Mirakaru...Romansu!"  
  
"Can I get out of this dress?", Gourry whines. "Can I get out of this fanfic?", Zel inquires. Tsumira glares angerily at Zelgadis before returning to her pen to finish this fic. Fortunately, she shows mercy on Gourry and writes him out of the dress. Gourry suddenly appears in his normal attire and hair style.  
  
"Well go ahead and open it already.", Zelgadis speaks. "Okay." Lina picks up the envelope and opens it. After she reads it, she panics and drops it onto the floor. "It couldn't have been that bad.", Zel comments picking it up while Lina makes off like a headless chicken.  
  
Dear Lina,  
  
Get married. You have three days to choose a groom.  
  
-Sis  
  
"I HAVE TO GET MARRIED!!!!", Lina screams loudly. "That's wonderful Miss Lina!", Amelia praises happily. "It is signed, 'Sis.'", Zel notes. "She...she...she's gonna KILL ME!", Lina stutters with tremendous fear. "Who's going to kill you Lina?", Gourry wonders. "MY SISTER YOU JELLYFISH FOR BRAINS!", Lina roars and pounds Gourry on the head.  
  
"Miss Lina, your sister wouldn't really kill you, would she?", Amelia asks. "YOU don't know my sister! She's ALWAYS serious and she REALLY hates me! She's always been so mean to me since I was young." "Were you ever young Lina?" *SMACK!!!* "I knew that was coming.", Zel comments on Lina's smacking of poor dimwitted Gourry. "Wow Lina, your sister sounds scarier than mine." /Yah, well I'm just glad does too aren't in the same room together. We'd probably die before we'd figure out which one scares the other./, Lina thinks to herself.  
  
"So you have to get married or else your sister will punish you.", Zelgadis notes. "Yah, but who's gonna marry a girl like Lina?", Gourry speaks. Lina quickly puts Gourry in a headlock. "What's THAT suppose to mean?! I can't take this lightly! I have to find someone to marry or else!" "You can just marry anyone and divorce him later.", Zelgadis suggests coldly. "And you think my sister will let me do that?!" "Good point.", Zelgadis concedes.  
  
"So the question iss...who are you going to marry Lina?", Gourry ponders. "I have no idea." "Miss Lina, why don't you marry Mister Gourry?", Amelia suggests causing Gourry to have a blank expression on his face trying to figure out what they were talking about again. /Then I'll have Zelgadis to myself!/ "Amelia, this isn't a decision to take lightly.", Lina scolds. "But who is there?", Amelia inquires.  
  
Lina looks over at the only other guy at the table...Zelgadis. "Hey! What are you looking at me like that for?!", Zel protests. /No Miss Lina! Zelgadis is mine!/ "Besides Gourry, you're the only other option, Zel. No sense in marrying Xellos either...that would be mutally unacceptable.", Lina informs. /Though not as unacceptable as Xellos marrying Filia, but they DO make a cute couple./ "So you have to choose between Mister Zelgadis and Mister Gourry?" 


	2. Crunch Time! Lina's Debate!

Slayers Outrageous  
  
Chapter Two.  
  
Crunch Time! Lina's Debate!  
  
Lina lays down in her bed in deep thought. She only has a few days left to decide who she would marry. Her best choices are the Galiant but Dull Gourry and the Mysterious Zelgadis. Both have their pros and cons, but Lina has to choose the best one, the one that she could live with.  
  
"Gourry Gabriev. I've know him for a long time now. He's handsome, but not very bright." "It makes your chest look even smaller!", Lina remembers Gourry saying back when they first met. "He also says the most inappropiate things! He's so insensitive, but I guess he doesn't know any better."  
  
"Hey Lina! You gonna stay in there all day? You already missed breakfast.", Gourry inquires outside her door with concern. (Note: This is day two.) "I'm not hungry right now. I'll eat later.", Lina replies. "Lina......", Gourry speaks heavy with worry and concern for his companion. Lina rolls over to her side and back to her thoughs. "I'll be right here if you need me.", Gourry informs.  
  
/Gourry's a real sweety, isn't he? Maybe that's why Sylphiel likes him so much. So protective...he's promised to be my bodyguard forever. He obviously wasn't thinking about what he was saying. Well, it is almost like we're already married. Kind of scary now that I think of it in that way, but truth be told, Gourry really has been there for me. In fact, I've gotten so used to having him around. Once Phabrizo had kidnapped Gourry, I became very upset. Up until then, the only reason I was even around Gourry was for his Sword of Light, but it wasn't until he was gone that I really started to miss Gourry...the person. And even though he doesn't have his legendary sword, I still hang around him, or is it the other way around? Which reminds me, Amelia told me about how valiant Gourry was when he tried to save me from being absorbed into the chaos I summoned when using the Gigaslave to save Gourry from Phabrizo, but I don't remember anything after chanting the Gigaslave./  
  
"Gourry, you needn't skip lunch because Lina wants to starve herself.", Zelgadis informs Gourry. "I know, but...." "Poor Mister Gourry. You're really worried about Miss Lina, aren't you?" "Well, yah. It isn't like Lina to skip meals." /It isn't like me at all, but if I don't find a husband, Luna will KILL me! This isn't something I can take lightly./ "Stay here if you want. Amelia and myself will go and eat lunch.", Zelgadis comments coldly and leaves with a very concerned, but even hungrier, Amelia.  
  
/Zelgadis is my other option. He's very apt at both sorcery and swordsmanship. He's intelligent and clever, unlike Gourry, but I'm still not really sure if I can trust him. He'd do anything to find a cure. I remember when he hired himself to Martina and her father in exhange for the Book of Zona. However, when he discovered that it didn't contain his cure..../ "I will no longer be apart of your evil scheme!" /....he turned on them. Would Zel turn on me again?/  
  
/Gourry...or Zelgadis? Those are my only two options. I don't exactly have enough time to find a handsome and rich prince. However, the question is, can I even live with either one? I have to choose by tomorrow and I haven't gotten any closer picking. I've got to do whatever it takes to stay alive, and I KNOW I have no chance in hell in defeating my sister. Still, I want my life to be as less miserable as possible. Gourry or Zelgadis? Now that is the question. Whether tis profitabler (YES, a MADE UP word!) in my mind to suffer the swings and slugs of my sister or to take arms against a golden sea of chaos and marry either Gourry or Zelgadis. Shesh...why do things have to be tragic like an English play?/  
  
"Isn't it wonderful? Miss Lina is finally going to get married!", Amelia chirps cheerfully. "Just wonderful...." "You don't sound so enthusiastic about it, Mister Zelgadis. Why do you always have to be so glum?" "Before I answer that Amelia, there's something I need to do first." "What?", Amelia inquires as Zel heads up to a stage that just convienently appears out of nowhere. "I close my eyes when I get too scared. I think thoughts that I know are bad. I close my eyes and count to ten. Hope it's over when I open them. I want the things that I had before, like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door. I wish I can count to ten and make everything be wonderful again. Promises mean everything when you're little and the world's so big. So big. I just don't understand how you can smile with all those tears in your eyes and tell me everything is wonderful now. Na na na na na. Na na na na na. Everything is wonderful now." "Isn't that a wonderful song?", Amelia exclaims causing the music to come to a halt. Shaking his head with a firm, "yare yare", Zel returns to his seat and conversation with Amelia.  
  
"Now to answer you question. In case you've forgotten, I'm one of the candidates. Also, isn't it obvious that Lina doesn't really WANT to get married, but doesn't really have any choice.", Zelgadis answers. "Don't be silly, Mister Zelgadis. Lina will marry Gourry and she'll be happy and her sister won't try to kill her." "What makes you think that she'll choose Gourry and not me?", Zel questions. "Gourry and Lina make the perfect couple! Just ask the author! Look at how they just seem to fit together like two pieces of the jigsaw of love!", Amelia zealously replies. "What if Gourry doesn't WANT to marry Lina?"  
  
/I hope Lina finds someone that'll marry her or else she'll try to kill me before her sister kills her. I promised to protect Lina, but whose gonna protect me from her?! Hey, maybe I should marry Lina! That way her sister won't try to kill Lina and Lina won't try to kill me! Nah...that'll never work. Think of something else, Gourry. Hey, how about if Lina married Xellos? They're both monsters, right?/  
  
/A rich and hansome prince...doesn't even have to be a prince...just rich will do. Wait a minute! Amelia's rich...and a princess. Luna said I had three days to pick a groom, but she didn't specify whether or not the groom had to be male./  
  
-TSUMIRA WARNS READERS THAT A YURI (female and female relationship) SCENE with a possible yaoi cameo, IS ABOUT TO OCCUR. TSUMIRA DOES NOT SUPPORT YURI OR YAOI (especially the hardcore kind, minor yuri and yaoi is acceptable so long as it is not detrimental to the hinted couple of any characters that do not belong to the fanfic writer, however, acceptions have been made solely for the sake of human and quite possibly fanservice so that maybe someone other than nightsiren1 will read this chapter). The yuri scene is a gag for the fic and the yaoi is a fanservice/shoutout to two happily married British chaps that I miss so much and have chatted with for a good couple of years. (^^;;;;; Kokuen-o ate your e-mail addy!)  
  
~"Man! I feel like a woman!", Lina exclaims sitting up in bed wearing a silky and semi-transparent nightgown. "I'm so glad I married you, Miss Lina. Men are just perverse pigs anyway (very bad stereotype...I have a boyfriend...uh...you're the sexiest perverse pig I'll ever know! ^^;;; yah like he'll ever bother reading this)! True justice is fighting evil, but true love is with a woman!", Amelia proclaims with much zest. (Please take this moment to remove yourselves from the gutter, for it will be cleaned with a street cleaner with multiple Katanas of Purity(tm) instead of a cleaning sweeper thingy.) "Hearing that makes me so happy!", Lina smiles eagerly as she wraps her arms around Amelia in a tender embrace. (Bear with me, I'm on the verge of commiting seppuku myself with my Katana of Purity(tm) and my Wakizashi of Naivity(tm).) "Oh Lina...I couldn't be happier." (*Dies**Is brought back for the shoutout...and to finish the fic.**Darn*)~  
  
~*~"Hey Touma, look at this Slayers fanfic I found. It says that there's a yaoi cameo of Touma and Shin.", a handsome and slender young man with long brown hair and angelic blue eyes informs a handsome young man with spikey blue hair and firmament blue eyes. "Really? Let me see! Man...why can't there be any good Ronin Warriors fanfics with Touma and Shin as lovers?" "Why don't we just write our own then?", Shin says with a wink. "Oooooooooo. Great idea.", Touma purrs back. "Look love! This fic mentions Rhea of Enchantment.", Shin points out. "We haven't heard from her in a long time, have we, my lil angel baby?" "Oh look, it says to e-mail Rhea of Enchanment at caska__@hotmail.com."~*~  
  
TSUMIRA INFORMS TOUMA AND SHIN HASHIBA TO E-MAIL RHEA OF ENCHANTMENT AT caska__@hotmail.com  
  
/WHAT AM I THINKING?! Ew...ew....EW! Me and Amelia?! That is SOOOOO sick! Man, I really AM stressed about this. By the way, who's Touma and Shin? Nevermind that, I still have to choose between Gourry and Zelgadis. Gourry or Zelgadis? Zelgadis or Gourry?/  
  
To continue your adventure, please insert DISC 3 now. 


	3. Time's Up!

searching..........DISC 3 detected........loading........  
  
Slayers Outrageous  
  
Time's Up! Gourry and Zelgadis Debate!  
  
Note: Don't ask me about the whole DISC 3 thing...it just popped into my head at the moment. It actually popped in as DISC 2, but 3 sounded more appropiate.  
  
/Three days have already passed and I still haven't decided. I have to make a decision...NOW! Ah, ah, ah...I still don't know! Wait, maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about just myself...maybe I should think about what Gourry and Zelgadis would want. Maybe...nah./  
  
/I hope Lina's been taking this more seriously than I have. Up until now, I never gave much thought to Lina wanting to marry me. I kind of shrugged it off, but now that I really think about, I shouldn't have been so slack about the idea. What would I do if Lina choose me? Even Amelia is concerned about that outcome. It seems clear that Amelia wants Lina to choose Gourry, just like the author and some more fanatical supportors of Lina-Gourry, but that doesn't mean that will be the outcome. Sure, Tsumira is a supportor of Gourry and Lina, but she's less fanatical than most, just ask Sakura (Lina-Zel supportor; visit her site, it is REALLY beautiful!). Tsumira is just as likely to choose me as Gourry if only to make it a great story. Of course, she's equally likely to have her choose neither of us to make both groups of fans wringe in angst. Afterall, isn't angst the main theme of these stories? Or she could even have the story end BEFORE Lina makes her decision. That'll really put them in a squirm!/  
  
/Which ending would create the most angst? Lina choosing Gourry? Lina choosing Zel? Lina choosing someone she had not even contemplated about, such as Xellos? Or should Luna show and ruin it all? Or perhaps Naga shows up unexpectedly and demands that AMELIA choose a groom in three days causing everyone to forget Lina's plight? How about throwing in April O'Neil from TMNT just because I can? Nah, that'll be foolish. Maybe I should cut off to a scene of Xellos and Filia or Mesuinu (Mesuinu likes the pimpage, but Mesuinu want's me to finish her fic. She's tired of being a baby.) when Lina is about to tell everyone her decision. Oh well, better finish this fic anyway! Then I can work on Mesuinu's and Xiphor's fics. Especially Xiphor's, since it is a romantic Valgaav fic!/ Suddenly Tsumira notes an ominous shadow lingering over her laptop. Before she can turn to see what it is, she falls face first onto the device. Her seat drips with the blood from the blunt impalement of her back and a gloved hand slowly wipes off the blood from the bottom of an elegantly carved staff.  
  
~*~*~*The End*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~Not the ending Tsumira wanted, but it'll do~*~*~  
  
GAME OVER  
  
Please insert a disc to continue playing.  
  
searching..........DISC 3 detected........loading........  
  
Do you wish to continue from your last save? Y or N  
  
Y  
  
Loading........please wait.........  
  
Slayers Outrageous  
  
Time's Up! Gourry and Zelgadis Debate!  
  
Note: Don't ask me about the whole DISC 3 thing...it just popped into my head at the moment. It actually popped in as DISC 2, but 3 sounded more appropiate.  
  
/Three days have already passed and I still haven't decided. I have to make a decision...NOW! Ah, ah, ah...I still don't know! Wait, maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about just myself...maybe I should think about what Gourry and Zelgadis would want. Maybe...nah./  
  
/I hope Lina's been taking this more seriously than I have. Up until now, I never gave much thought to Lina wanting to marry me. I kind of shrugged it off, but now that I really think about, I shouldn't have been so slack about the idea. What would I do if Lina choose me? Even Amelia is concerned about that outcome. It seems clear that Amelia wants Lina to choose Gourry, just like the author and some more fanatical supportors of Lina-Gourry, but that doesn't mean that will be the outcome. Sure, Tsumira is a supportor of Gourry and Lina, but she's less fanatical than most, just ask Sakura (Lina-Zel supportor; visit her site, it is REALLY beautiful!). Tsumira is just as likely to choose me as Gourry if only to make it a great story. Of course, she's equally likely to have her choose neither of us to make both groups of fans wringe in angst. Afterall, isn't angst the main theme of these stories? Or she could even have the story end BEFORE Lina makes her decision. That'll really put them in a squirm!/  
  
Do you wish to make the same mistake again, Tsumira? Y or N  
  
N!!!!!  
  
Will you work on Mesuinu's fanfic? Y or N  
  
YES YES YES!!!  
  
"RECOVERY!", a voice cries out causing the blood to fade away and Tsumira to suddenly jerk up. "Ah...uh...Mesuinu!" "Now then, you really WILL work on my fanfic?", the spitting image of Xellos inquires. "Yes Mesuinu. I'm really sorry, but I kind of get distracted with other ideas. You know that you're my favorite fanfic character. You sincerely are. Nothing says cool like the half-mazoku daughter of the one and only Xellos who since her birth has made it a point to make his life a living hell. It's an admirable quality. Now then, if I can finish this fanfic I can proceed to yours." Mesuinu suddenly disappears.  
  
/What if Lina picks me? Zel isn't going to want to marry such a loud mouth beanpoled and flat chested little girl. What if Lina picks me? Do I have to really marry Lina? If she picks me and I turn her down then I'll be dead for sure! If I marry Lina though, I might as well be dead. Though certain death is scarier than unknown death...or something to that effect. Hey! I know! I can PRETEND to marry Lina! That way her sister will think we're married and I won't have to really marry Lina! Wait...that won't work. Lina would NEVER kiss me and I would NEVER kiss Lina. Great...I'm stuck. Maybe we can get our stunt doubles to marry and maybe it'll look like we married. Gary shouldn't have any trouble kissing Mina, since she's quite a looker! Much better looking than Lina!/  
  
"Hey Gary, can you ask if we're needed in this fanfic? My breasts are SO compressed and so sore. Can't they find ANYONE closer to Lina's cup size than me?" "Actually, I have already inquired of Tsumira about your first question. Tsumira says that we will not be needed in the fanfic except for this cameo we are currently in. As for your second question, I am afraid that the only other person closer to Lina's size would be the fanfic writer herself, and I have deduced that the reason why she is not Lina's stunt double is because she is a real person and she is too much like Lina herself, or at the very least, her copy." "Good, I can pop this stupid thing off right now!", Mina exclaims with much joy and jubilation.  
  
/Zelgadis or Gourry? I've already went through some of the pros and cons in the last two fanfics, but I still haven't gotten any closer to picking one. Is there something I'm overlooking? Maybe I should consider Gourry and Zelgadis's feelings on this one. Afterall, I have to pick between the two of them and it won't do me any good if they refuse. Maybe I should ask them both and marry whoever says yes. Then again, what if they both say yes? Then I'm in a bind again. I like them both as friends and comrades, but, can I really say I love either of them? Can I even say that they even love me? Yes, Lina-Zel fans would be happy if I marry Zelgadis, and would have dreamy looks of happiness smeared across their faces as they imagine cherry blossoms float gently around the two of us..../  
  
~*~"I love you Lina. I've loved you from the moment we meant, but until now, I could not tell you how I feel.", Zelgadis informs Lina as they stand alone on a small path in the woods of sakura. Petals gently float down around them in small numbers spaced a slightly medium distance apart. "Zel, do you really mean it? Do you really love me?", Lina asks for clarification in a very simple but beautiful pink dress that accentuates her hair and eyes. "Of course Lina. I would touch your beautiful and soft cheek, were not my hands so coarse and rough like the stone they are. How I want to caress your silky body and run my hands into your hair. Alas, I cannot. If you do not love me back, I will understand. I am much the hideous monster. My love for you shall forever be unrequited." "Oh Zel, your love will never be unrequited. I've always loved you too. It doesn't matter to me that you're a chimera, I love you for the man you are inside. I don't care how you look Zelgadis. You shouldn't be so shallow about that. I love you for you, not because you hang with Leonardo. Why do you think I'm always there to help you find a cure? I want you to be happy Zelgadis, I want you to be happy because I love you!", Lina proclaims and throws her arms around Zel's neck. She gazes deeply into his eyes filled with tender loving bliss. "Oh Lina...I could never be so happy as to hear you say that. I'll never let anything happen to you. I'll always be there for you Lina.", Zel speaks softly to his beloved. Cherry blossoms drift around them in the romantic embrace.~*~  
  
/I can't forget about Gourry. Regardly of whom I marry, Gourry will always be around...so long as he remembers his promise to protect me forever. Kind of romantic if Gourry wasn't so dense. I can't get rid of him, and I already know that I can't live without him. Would Gourry marry me? I'm not exactly very well endowed and Gourry is always teasing me about my small breasts. He's still an option...but Gourry is probably less likely to marry me than Zelgadis. However, unlike Zel, he might actually be dumb enough TO marry me! Wait? What am I saying? Dumb enough to marry me? That sounds like something Zel or Gourry would say! Hmmm...what would it be like? I'm sure Gourry-Lina fans would die to find out that very question./  
  
~*~"Hey Lina, I think your chest has gotten a little bigger.", Gourry comments absent-mindedly looking down on Lina's breasts. Lina is sitting down leaning against a tree near a beautiful river while Gourry is standing over her protectively. Lina jumps up suddenly causing Gourry to stumble back. "WHAT YOU PERVERT?!", Lina exclaims ready to give Gourry a gruesome choke. "I just said that your chest had gotten a little bigger, that's all. Nothing to get excited about.", Gourry replies naively. "My chest has gotten bigger?", Lina pauses and looks down at her breasts. "This isn't quite as good as the Zel-Lina fantasy, is it?", Tsumira speaks interupting the scene. Gourry shrugs while Lina examines her breasts. "Oh yah! They are bigger now aren't they?", Lina cheers. "Hey Lina, are you wearing platform shoes or something? You look taller too." "Yes, yes, YES! I'm taller and fuller!"~*~  
  
"You know Tsumira, that wasn't quite as romantic as the Zel-Lina fanservice, but it was GREAT that I was taller and had fuller breasts.", Lina informs the writer. Sighing, she resolves herself to lay down in her bed, enjoying her last few hours of life. "I wonder...is my sister going to come and show up today demanding an answer? I want to keep fighting...I want to live."  
  
/I suppose if Lina choose me...I'd marry her. I don't know what to do. I don't really want to see her hurt. If she died, it would be discouraging for the rest of us. Heck, she might even be the only girl who'd marry me like this. Though, it wouldn't be out of love, but out of fear of her sister. I don't think I could live like that. I suppose I would have to decline. I would have to insist that she marry Gourry. Amelia is right, they do make the perfect couple and maybe, somewhere hidden away, they really do love each other. Do...do I love Lina? I...I don't really want to think about that. Maybe I do love Lina. However, I can't risk my unhappiness. I have to find a cure before I can even think about who I love. Amelia's supportive of Lina marrying Gourry, but why? Could it be that Amelia loves me? Is that really true? Do I love Amelia? Amelia or Lina? Who should I choose? Wait a minute, Zel! Your feelings count in this matter, but remember, its Lina who has to choose between me or Gourry. This story is not mine, but Lina's. I think it is better to focus on that./  
  
"Okay Lina-Gourry fans, bear with me. I think I finally have a romantic fantasy for Lina and Gourry! Roll the fancy CGI footage please!"  
  
Film.....rolling.....please wait.......  
  
0 - No! Lina! O - Farewell...Gourry...everyone.  
  
/|\/|\  
  
/\ --Gourry chasing after Lina/ / -- Lina being dragged into chaos  
  
0 0 O 0 O NO! LINA CAN'T PERISH!  
  
/|\/|\ /|\ /|\ /|\  
  
/ \ / \ / \ / / \\ --mob of wailing Lina-Gourry fans  
  
0 - Lina! Don't leave me! I neeeeeeeed you!  
  
/|-| --Hikari no ken (Sword of Light)  
  
|| --Gourry leaping up after Lina into the chaos  
  
0 0 O 0 O SAVE HER GOURRY!  
  
/|\/|\ /|\ /|\ /|\  
  
/ \ / \ / \ / / \\ --mob of still wailing Lina-Gourry fans  
  
0 - LINAAAAAAAA!!  
  
/|\ --sword is gone!  
  
|| --Gourry looking really torn up  
  
0 O  
  
||\/|/  
  
|| || --Gourry and Lina embrace  
  
0 O  
  
||\/|/  
  
|| || --Gourry and Lina lean towards each other  
  
0O  
  
/||\  
  
// \\ --Lina and Gourry KISS  
  
~The End~  
  
Film...finished.  
  
"Well, that was very interesting Miss Tsumira. Quite romantic when Gourry lept into chaos to save Miss Lina!", Amelia comments in the theater. "The graphics was the best, but I couldn't understand the story.", Gourry admits. "Well...it's a fantasy for Lina-Gourry friends....I guess.", Lina shrugs. "Tsumira, you just ripped the story off an episode of Next, didn't you?", Zelgadis speaks putting the writer on the spot. "Oh yes, no wonder the story seemed so familiar.", Amelia admits. "What do you mean? THAT never happened!", Lina insists. "I never kissed Lina.", Gourry informs. "Well back to the fanfic!"  
  
"So Miss Lina, have you made a decision?", Amelia inquires sitting at the table with everyone else. Lina stands up and takes a deep breath. "Yes, I have." Gourry and Zelgadis begin to sweat. Tension hangs heavy in the air. "Letter for Miss Lina Inverse!", a messenger interupts as he enters. "O...o...ov...er...he...he...here.", Lina directs with a fearful stutter. "Well, you better go ahead and open it.", Zel informs. Lina opens the letter and reads it aloud. "Dear Lina, I hope you've been keeping track of the days. This should be the third day since the last letter I sent you. For your sake, you've better have made a decision...or else! Signed, Sis aka Filia Ul Copt. PS. April Fool's Lina!" Lina crumples up the letter in a heated fury. "FILIA!", Lina screams. "Hey, isn't today April Fool's Day?", Gourry inquires. "Yes, didn't Lina just read that off her letter?", Zel replies sarcastically as Lina storms out to utterly maim Filia for the April Fool's.  
  
"Miss Lina! Please don't hurt me!", Filia exclaims fleeing from Lina in sheer terror. "Oh I won't hurt you...MORE THAN YOU'VE HURT ME! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN MAKE YOU SUFFER LIKE I HAVE!" "I didn't DO anything, I swear!"  
  
Xellos watches the ensuing chaos from atop a nearby rooftop. He sips his coffee and smirks to himself. "Everything went according to plan.", he comments and takes a final sip before everything fades to black.  
  
Note: Didn't see that one coming, did you?  
  
~*~Really The End~*~ 


	4. Link to ZelLina Site

Ooops! Sorry! In the last chapter I mentioned Sakura's Zel & Lina site but I forgot to insert the link!  
  
slayers.aaanime.net/~linazel/  
  
It really is a nice site! Check it out, no matter what your bias!  
  
Oh yah, under Reasons, Others Reasons, take a wild guess who Lina Gabriev is. ^.~ 


End file.
